I thought briefly about apologizing for yesterday’s post. I’ve decided I’m not going to. It was how I felt at the moment that I needed to write it. No, I wasn’t looking for sympathy, and no, I don’t always feel like that. Significantly less these days then in recent years. But, I needed to document it for myself. And honestly, I didn’t put in anything that wasn’t true. Yes, I have been crying my self to sleep, a lot. Yes, I am often afraid of the empty space of being alone. Sometimes, though, I revel in it. Sometimes, I fall asleep with a smile on my face.
I think about people who have less then me, and I think about myself when I had less. The truth is that there is always happiness to be found. But sometimes its not enough to just make a conscious effort to find it. Sometimes it takes a little bit more, and seems infinitely impossible. And, I often don’t give myself enough credit. For anything.
So, I’m going to do my best to realize that things are better then I often give them credit for.
And I’m going to try to sleep more. No promises on that one though!
