Can we talk about first dates for a second?


So I had a first (and last) date on Monday.

Let me begin by saying that if was with a peson that I met online, on a dating site. I can’t knock online dating too much as my mom and stepfather met online and they’ve worked out great.

I get there. With guy’s picture in the back of my mind, I’m looking for someone who looks more like an older Prince Harry, instead I come upon a younger Gene Wilder. Fine, not such a big deal. We had a few drinks at a bar, I thankfully wasn’t forced to play pool or sing kareoke. And then he offered to take me to dinner.

We decided on sushi. Of course, bonus points here. So we leave the bar – to go to the restaurant. Um, he had another idea. We end up “stopping by” his apartment, which was on the way. Not really sure why we were there, but I took advantage of the bathroom.

Here’s where it gets messy.

The short version is that he wouldn’t keep his hands off. I admit it was nice FOR A SECOND. Then I was just grossed out trying to decide “what would Carrie Bradshaw do?”. I gave him a minute to figure out I wasn’t interested and wasn’t responding to him. He didn’t get it and I finally had to tell him that it was a bit much for me.

Would you believe his response was “just a little bit more”! Uugh!!! No no no no!

I suggested we move onto dinner. At dinner he said something about how nice our little make-out session was. And then asked if he could take me out on Sat. Can you guess what I was thinking???

So, guys, if you want to impress a girl, KEEP YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF on at least the first date, buy more likely until she invites you.

Unless of course you are completely unaware of anyone but yourself, in which case GOOD LUCK, asshole.

Ok I’m done. Thanks for listening. Dating only by referral these days.

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