Dinner with Seamus tonight. It was the first time I didn’t feel like a complete ass talking to him. The first time I didn’t feel like there was an element of self-proof as either of us spoke.
He is a lovely person. I don’t know where this will lead. I am in a new place with regard to relationships. I will never look at them as I once did, even as recently as last fall. Which makes this so easy and simple. I enjoy my time with him immensely. I savor each moment, each block… Which makes it easier to walk away at the end of the evening, because I’m so grateful for the time we have.
This is all so new.
I told him the barest of elements about my story of the last year. There always comes a point in my friendships where I can use this as a barometer, and either disclose or not. Then there’s the moment of understanding and compassion, or complete shutdown. I’m getting really good at predicting which it will be, and using the news to my advantage.
Tonight, I just wanted him to know me. Know and trust why I am the way I am.
He shared with me too.
Life is really quite perfect… in this moment.