See, the thing is, I can write whatever I want. Freedom of speech and all. It’s one of the freedoms that our soldiers go overseas to protect. Ironic, don’t you think?
The other thing is that, I’m not who I was back then. Not even close. I won’t put up with the crap of friendship that isn’t real. I’ve got better ways to spend my time, energy, and emotions.
I have a million memories of you that I cherish. There are pictures of you on my walls. There are stories I still tell. And everytime I talk to my friend and collaborator who lives in Front Royal, I think of that beautiful rainy Saturday that we spent wandering around the antique markets of rural Virginia. I can not possibly be more grateful for the effect you had on my life, for your light touch on my lower back in the midst of a beer party at your house, or the beauty of the sight of you with the Virginia mountainside in the background as we got stranded on our way to a concert.
I have been fortunate to have an amazing life since you left. Since the day you got off the bus to catch a flight on a wet December afternoon, and you slung your duffle bag over your shoulder and waved goodbye, as if we were in a 1940’s war flick. An image forever seared in my memory.
I have since been awakened to the power within my soul. I no longer need you. I imagine you have changed too, how could you have not?
But, I will give you the chance to reintroduce yourself, with out my judgment or assumption. I vow to be open, and welcoming. You should know that it will be difficult to completely leave my guard down, but I will do my best.
Because, for one brief afternoon, maybe twice, you were my whole world.