One day soon, I hope I won’t have to cry myself to sleep.
I’m so sad all the time and I’m constantly fighting it and I just don’t know what to do. Paul has been very helpful, just listening and being available via the phone, but even today I got a sense that he’s tired of it. Hell, I’m tired of it.
I’m tired of feeling uncomfortable. I’m tired of wondering about whether my new friends are genuine (most of them are). I’m tired of feeling homesick for a place I had to get out of. I’m tired of feeling lonely. I’m tired of being afraid I’m not good enough for my job.
And on top of it all. I’m tired. I just want to sleep. And I’m afraid to give myself the time to do it, because I’m afraid I won’t want to get out of my bed. For days maybe. That scares the hell out of me.
It will pass. (I hope.) Till, then… I will keep piling on the work to keep me distracted.